You NEVER know

I DO NOT want this post to come across as showy on my part AT ALLLLL!!Part of me deciding to blog is for myself BUT with it being a public blog I need to not worry about what people think of me because I am who I am...take it or leave it. I just really need to say a few things that have been on my heart lately!

It's hard to put into words what I have in my head. It may just be jumbled and rambly( If that is even a word..lol..) BUT it is MY blog :)

It is about the word INFLUENCE. An effect of one person or thing on another. The way you act towards people, the way you conduct your yourself, the way you live your life...... whether good or bad it has major effects on people whether you like it or not. Whether you have been trying or not! You have a HUGE circle of influence. How do you think you influence people?

Throughout my life on different occasions I'll have people approach me/talk to me/facebook/email just to say THANK YOU for what I may have said/spoke on ect My 1st reaction is always "Me?", "Really?" I feel so odd at those moments because I think "Ummm I was just being honest or being myself". I then tend to get a bit hyper sensitive because I realize its just not about me in my little world day to day. Even if I don't speak to anyone! its odd.....people really do watch and observe what you do/say! eeeeepppppp.

It was not until I became a mother that I realized the true meaning of this word. As my oldest is now at an age that I can't really pull the wool over her eyes when I'm upset or grumpy or crying. It directly effects her and she will remember. My earliest memory was around 4/5? Before I could get away with my out of control behaviour but now....whole new ball of wax.
What am I trying to say? Mmmmmmm

I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, and its not about portraying a "persona" If I can be more aware of what I say/ do to others/conduct myself WHO KNOWS who is listening or reading at that very moment who needed some encouragement OR who needed to know that they aren't the only mom who freaks out and gets so frustrated with their kids, or just needs someone to talk to. I guess being REAL, especially in this facebook /blog/pinterest/movie/perfection world is important to me (Loook at me - I have a pretty perfect life and have no problems). It picks my butt, quite honestly. I've been talking with a few good friends about this recently and it just makes me laugh.We all know we all have problems or things we are dealing with. Why not be honest and share? instead of being "perfect". I've honestly struggled with comparison here and there but as I'm learning and growing I know that its just a sad existance to dwell in. I'm not in a good head space!

I don't know about you all but there is nothing better than getting together with girlfriends and chatting about the crazyness of life. NOTHING better. because you know your not alone in this adventure of life. YES, we all have our strengths and weaknesses but I think of that as a blessing because we can learn from each other.

I was reminded of this topic as I went for coffee with a great friend the other night. I was me, real me, open, honest with her both good and bad... she felt she could share some really important things with me that are going on in her life and it BLEW me away...once again! People I know appreciate honesty and openness. It lets us know that we are not alone if we are deailing with things and in turn allows them to open up if they've been "HOARDING" their struggles. Gosh, when I'm in my funk of all funks who is that affecting around me?...my kids (not good), hubby, WHOLE tone of my house changes. Its bad, its a war zone and inevitabley the kids pick it up and its a fight day.

So, if I'm going to blog, be on facebook, go to events, grocery shop....be in public. I am going to make an effort to influence people in an AMAZING WAY. I have a few friends who are SO inspiring....the thoughtfulness, simple blessings to others, positivity, working through rough patches ( REALLY ROUGH PATCHES) with grace and hope. I LOVE that and "they" influence me. How about a smile to the old shuffly grandpa at the grocery store? Be honest with how I'm feeling when a friend asks you "how are you today?" instead of the usual " FINE" , talk about it.....I betcha they've been through it, can understand or at least lend an ear so you can barf it out...lol... OR if your talking with someone and you see their eyes well up with tears don't just freak and quickly run away. Take some time to just listen and love on them!

We are living in such a busy, hustle bustle world and its so easy to get caught up in YOUR (my) life and not take a minute to look around. The mental NOISE of media,tv,phones, thoughts, ideas are overwhelming at times. I am making more of an effort to just BE STILL. In the quiet. Even though it can be the most scarey because it allows you to really feel and think of things. It has been bringing me more clarity and time with God to pray that I really needed! God did ask us to do this....."Be still and know that I am God". He is in control of it all........let him use you! I'm a shapened pencil READY to maybe play a "small" part in someones life. You never KNOW who will need it :)

LOVE LOVE
Jen