Aha MOMENT

Going though my old photo's on the computer just tidying up all irritating folders...lol...

I found this one.

My jaw dropped. I had not seen this pic for a long time. 

I have forgotten.

Is that me? wow! I can remember HATING those workout pants as they were so tight. I normally only wore long flared workout pants. NOT these that showed my legs......GASP!

I was 214 pounds here. End of December. Just about to start my journey.

If I only knew where I'd get to ....wow....
Size 14/16 to size 6/8

The wedding we went to last weekend was quite the eye opener for me. I had many people come up to me saying they didn't even recognize me. I mean, you see yourself everyday and HONESTLY you do not notice the change that drastically. My friends and family know and have seen me transform BUT seeing someone I had not seen in half a year. Ummmm....yeah, that would be shocking. Another thing someone said was I look strong, healthy and fit. *tear*
Not just skinny, frail, food deprived, weak. Never thought of it that way. I'm proud of that comment.

A lovely lady who I know who lost an incredible amount of weight told me a few months ago that pictures where the only thing that really helped her mind/brain to switch that this is what I now look like. ITS ALL MIND. It is still a shock to see this picture of me....odd...

When I look at the picture above NOW. I see the woman that God created me to be. Finally.

Not that I wasn't at 214lbs but at that weight I was so bogged down with "what ifs", " I can't's", "I wish ", "its to hard", I can't do this. I look back and realize I really had such a bunch of hot coals just ready to catch fire but NO wind/energy to start that little spark.

I was waiting for something? I don't know what?....that waiting lasted for almost 10 years. wow...*sniff/tear*. wow, big moment I just realized.

10 years....*sob*.....

You know what it was?...what the root of it all was? FEAR

 Had no clue what I was capable of. I was scared. Scared to start. Most importantly scared to fail and quit YET AGAIN. what's the point anyways.........F.E.A.R.
Exactly where it wants you to STAY. stuck. immobile. 

I just feel like I'm free. I feel like there was a fork in the road and I took the SCAREY road. BUT it lead me to this. Its so hard to explain. BUT the sky is the limit. When you push youself/mentally focus/ tunnel vision/ NO EXCUSES!!!!!!!!!!!! you realize just how FLIPPEN tough you really are. Its surprising.  

Wow, didn't mean this post to be this long I just typed...didn't stop.

I'm so thankful I kept that picture. I will keep it forever. A picture of what FEAR looks like for me.

Have a wonderful day. What are you afraid of? What are you so scared to do?

LOVE LOVE

Jen