Let GO

** For the record THIS post has taken me 3 days to post! EVERY TIME....and I mean EVERYTIME randomly my internet goes down, computer freaks out a freezes OR, its so slow to type one sentence (like now) it taken me 20 minutes. BOY OH BOY...the enemy SURE does not want this posted. Someone needs to hear this...clearly**

The blogging situation has been not good. I have a ton of posts in my mind but A- Haven't had the passion to create them ( I don't like blogging "just because) and B- figuring stuff out.

These last few weeks have been up and down. The high of winning my weight loss challenge and the low of feeling such GREAT heaviness/sorrow. Heaviness over friends that are really struggling, I seem to hear of someone I love having a rough time daily (this morning phone call at 8:08) *sigh*, heaviness over #3 who is really really challenging these days, worry over stupid things, apprehensive for some reason? All in all It seems to be a theme these last few weeks for not just myself but many others. Is God telling me something? Am I to busy to hear His voice amidst the STATIC of life's noise?? GAH...drives me nuts

AS we all know I like a feeling of control and WELL, It feels lately that my reins have been taken away...BUT with that comes having to Listen more, feel more, ponder more, and the most important TRUST more. *TEARS...AGAIN* what the heck?  I hate seeing hurting....just kills me! Zaps me. At the same time It brings out the FIGHT in me and that rush of not backing down EVER to the enemy and his tricks and schemes. Now I'm furious...bahah! yipes.....My usual perkyness and cheerfulness hasn't been able to pull me out. I'm just going to wait it out.

 This song pretty much sums up what I'm feeling! JUST rain....rain
Rain is cleansing of the soul, cleansing of the earth. IT also is powerful that it produces fruit, growth, change, rebirth, health...........I'm just riding out the storm. Holding on for dear life!

Need to post this NOW before something else happens. Anyone else feeling like this? Maybe its just the season we are in. Fresh new change is coming. I'm excited but it really sucks to be below the ship in a storm. Can't wait for the storm to pass so I can creep up out of the dark hull, open the hatch..... and feel the wind, see the sun and enjoy the CALM AFTER THE STORM. Praise God!

LOVE LOVE
Jen