A little special

Goodness gracious! Some days I wonder if I've totally lost my mind. SO, ya know! I thought I'd share a few things about myself that are make me "ME"...lol... some funny, some heavy!

* OK...I have no idea how to post these pics properly SO for now...they are wonky. Oh well*

I was driving listening to "Dora Christmas* for the 8th bazillionth time *Please poke my eyes out* and Hope was crying and freaking out so I take my one hand off the wheel to sort through my bag to try to find her soother...."I can't find it?? what the heck? I just had it? where is it?"

Until I looked at my other hand? ...Ummmmmm....yeah, pretty special people...pretty special. That was a new one! wow....

I also cannot count how many times I've worn my slippers out of the house REALLY? I am a very organized person and the last things I do I tend to grab for myself generally forgetting a pretty important step?...bahahhah!!! I walked into preschool wearing these on Friday..lol... CLASSIC Jen move. I just did this at Halloween, I've done this when I worked and walked into the spa with these on, I've grocery shopped with them, and over and over and over again it happens.

Just a few weeks ago we were heading to my mom's house for dinner and we couldn't for the LIFE of us find my van keys. Again, I'm like ..."what the heck?". Whatever, we grabbed the extra set and off we went. In my mind it was driving me NUTS. When we got to my moms we settled in and I needed to pump (breast milk) so I went into the bedroom and got all ready, un snapped my bra and TAAA DAAAAAA out falls the keys!!!!!!! YUP, I had them in my bra the WHOLE time? HEeelllloooooooooooooo.

Now for those of you who know me, I use my bra as an extra purse. Cell phone, soother, lip gloss., bank card. Basically anything If I need my hands hands free for some reason without a purse. I must say though as I've been losing a bunch of weight by bra size has decreases significantly sooooo yeah, I may not be doing that again anytime soon.

I've always been the one to put the milk in the cupboard and cereal in the fridge.I've always been the one people say "Your kinda strange hey?"...lol..

I find I always have a million things on my mind at once. Not sure if that is a good thing or not but I thrive on multi-tasking. The more I have to do at the same the THE BETTER I do? I know, weird right? I really love that sense of pressure...BRING IT.

When I have days where my mom has the kids for the weekend..... I feel so OUT of control for some reason?. I think because I don't have my usual routine to fall back on. I love love love love love routine. I cannot say enough about it. It could be because I tend to want to control things *gasp* ..lol...and am a bit of a control freak. I run my house like a TIGHT ship.. My kids inevitably just fall into that way of life which is a good thing BUT also bites me in the butt sometimes.

I hear " Mom, when are we going home?" I love my home....or.....I'm really tired, I could use a good nap...lol...It's hilarious really. My kids love naps, bedtime. Structure. BUT I secretly wish I could be a gypsy and just GO WITH THE FLOW...so scary to me.

One thing that I"m working on that I've recently been struggling with is being flexible? sounds silly to say but so true. For as long as I can remember its been something I've had so much anxiety over. Things I have NO control over.

As a young adult I've been in numerous counselling sessions just talking out my irrational fears to people. It still is a bit of struggle for me (definatley not as bad) but I've been praying like a dog, making a CHOICE to be happy and calm regardless of the circumstance. My hubs is a risk taker and it is kinda scary but because he takes me out of my comfort zone It has brought me so much joy and experiences that I would have NEVER done if it wasn't for him.

He is the other puzzle piece that I am missing. He is the milk to my cereal, he is the peanut butter to my toast. He is perfect for me. I have hyperventilated (I'm serious..serious) more times because of him. We've done a 7 day, 75 km hike along the west coast of Vancouver Island, We've hiked Golden Ears in the dark...GAHHHHH! *after I watched Blair witch project*, I've purchased a DUMP of a condo...redone it and flipped it, we've sold everything we've had (house included) to go help at a recovery house and live in a 500sq ft house with a newborn, We've bought a house that needed to be gutted 14 days before I had Grace and we needed to move in. With each of these experiences he has had SO much grace for me and listened to me FREAK out/cry and then "think" about then say "yes, lets do it" He knows me so well....lol...EACH time has been more amazing than the other. GOD always has been #1 in all these decisions. You see, GOD sees the big picture that we can't see and I know that I can fully 100% trust him. Every time we've done CRAZY things (to me) its turned out to be the biggest blessings of our lives. SO odd.....

Ryan is my hero! I've always told him since day one I LOVE how courageous he is, and how he could CARE LESS of what people think of him and just GO FOR IT. To me that is a characteristic that I am working on.

Its probably one of my greatest prayers for all my girls that they have his courage and boldness! I want them to be SET apart for God and do what their hearts take them to do. I know I'll be in the background having major heart palpitations but I know they all have strong callings on their lives. All of them....I knew when Hope was born I was holding a world changer. I cannot explain how...but I just knew. I remember crying while I was in recovery. I had this GUT reaction that made me sick because I felt so inadequate. I thought of Mary and how she must of felt when she was carrying Jesus (NOT that Hope is Jesus...lol..but you know what I mean, right?). I think as mother *esp, MOG's" I feel a heavy burden to raise them properly. I'm up for the challenge. I may be a little special...lol...and very imperfect!!! Oh dear..... but I am their mom.

LOVE LOVE

Jen